GUREE

I decided to stay in solitary confinement today since I am not allowed to shower until tomorrow even though there was an exciting party in the city filled with the most beautiful women I'd ever probably have a chance to interact with. Still, I have been watching GLEE and drinking cola and eating cookies and I'm gonna go ahead and say this was a good choice. Chiyo is so smart and she knows how to shake hands with me now and sit down and sit up. Besides that, I am quietly anticipating the new semester and being able to really work hard at school and work hard at a fit body. Yes. YES.

As far as decision making goes, I am probably not in a good position to decide anything as of lately. Three months later and I still find myself faltering even though my thoughts are 95 percent preoccupied by others. But I still can not choose between those others. I wish I was not always saying "I don't know." Why can't I be the person who passionately says yes or no to something--why must someone always come to me and leave me dumb-founded when they confess their love...I'm eternally the stuttering idiot who lost her tongue. God. I am always the one receiving and then unsure how much or what to receive... or how to even give it back.

I hate the situations you put me in. Hell, I hate you.